• Anastasia Hamurari

On accepting yourself

Updated: Nov 23, 2020

How many people are living on this planet right now? About 7 billion, or even 8, are you keeping track of numbers?

Numbers are growing. People pass away. Others are being born.

How many people, though, accept themselves the way they are? How many carry that deep love for themselves? How many of those 7 billion?

I cannot answer these questions, but I can say for sure that the number of those who have accepted themselves just the way they are is not that high. With the reason for that being the ongoing social media propaganda that shows unrealistic retouched pictures of ideally looking people or as basic as someone wondering why your ears are bigger than theirs. Whether it is your parents who did not teach you that there is nothing wrong with your small teeth or short legs, there is actually no one to blame. I mean, do not forget that they are the same humans, it is just that their age in passport is twice as big as yours and they have encountered a bit more in life than you had. But that is about it. They have their own appearance related issues you do not even know about.

In any case, it is what it is. You cannot change what you have, but you can change the way you look at it. You have the power to change your own perceptions. How incredibly empowering is that, huh?

I wish I could say that I have learned to accept myself with every part of me that I consider to be flawed. I am being vulnerable right now by saying that I am not a fan of the shape of my nose, neither am I a fan of my face shape. However, every day I am growing to accept it. It is a long process but it is a crucial step towards self-love.

Are any of those things going to change if I keep thinking about them? Of course not. But by changing my perception on “flaws” I start seeing the real picture. I start viewing them as just a part of me and I make a conscious choice to do so.

It is worth mentioning that this choice genuinely defines the way others see you. Can you possibly find someone attractive if he does not believe in it himself? I cannot. Confidence is attractive. When you are confident in your own skin others are so much more likely to see you the same way. And, by the way, confidence is contagious.

It is so easy to fall into this trap of comparing yourselves with others who have something you do not. You might even think that they are so lucky to be born with those big eyes, Hollywood smile and luscious hair. But do keep in mind that you choose to see them that way. It is solely your perception which is quite subjective, to tell the truth. There is ultimately no “ideal” or “icon”, it is us who create them. So, it is up to you to decide whether you will continue idealizing others or start appreciating and accepting yourself. Everyone, every single person on this earth has their own definitions of “beauty” and you cannot possibly comply with them all. Simply because someone finds that woman/man attractive does not mean that everyone else sees her/him the same way. Do you get what I am trying to say?

I personally know at least 5 people who hate their feckless. I, on the other side, am absolutely obsessed with them and only wish to have them. That is how different we all are. That is exactly what proves that you should embrace your “flaws”.

To be blunt, your appearance it the result of a genes lottery. What is unique to this lottery is that no one wins nor losses. So, it is up to you to decide whether you are going to be hateful or grateful. The plain truth is that you cannot truly accept and love others until you have accepted and fallen in love with yourself.

Image credit: Debora Islas on Behance

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