• Anastasia Hamurari

Not feeling guilty

Updated: Nov 23, 2020

“New Year – new me!”

“I am going to set 150 goals and work every day for them!”

“This year is going to be the best year of my life!”

I bet you heard at least one of those statements from your surroundings. They sound impressive, but often quite unrealistic. There is no doubt that setting goals is crucial and a mandatory thing to do, but you should realize that you are the one responsible for their achievement. You are the one who puts pressure on yourself and then ends up feeling like a failure in case some of those goals did not came in life.

For that reason try to weigh out every goal you want to set and determine whether you are positive about its worth or not.

I have recently heard something along these lines – “If you can’t accomplish it in seven days, then your goals is too big.” At first I thought to myself that it sounds quite discouraging. Later on, after brainstorming for a little while, I got to the point these words intend to have. Try to ask yourself “What can I do in a span of a week to move myself into that direction?” A week indeed is enough to make a change. If the goal seems to be very far away, it does not mean that you need to abandon it. Breaking it up in small pieces will guide you through the process of getting closer to it.

I never was the type of person to sit down at the end of the year and write down my list of so called resolutions. Not because I am a lazy ass (even though sometimes it might be the case), but simply because I did not believe in it. I believed that goals are going to come along the way. Through living, by doing the right (or wrong) thing at a certain point of the year, you start seeing your realistic abilities – that was my theory.

Now, several years later, I jumped on the bandwagon and decided to try setting goals for myself. I still live by the above mentioned “theory”, but the whole adulting thing grew on me and the idea of becoming more organized did not sound that bad anymore. I must say though that from the very beginning of this process I said to myself that I am not going to feel guilty if something does not go as planned. I am not going to feel guilty if I allow myself to do nothing for a day or two. I am not going to feel guilty for having some “me time”. I am not going to feel guilty if I decide to erase one of my goals throughout the year because it is not the right timing.

There is nothing worse than stressing yourself out about something you have the power to change. At the end of the day we are all human beings with our own dreams, struggles and paths. You are in control of your life and you are the one responsible for your own happiness. It might take time to achieve a massive goal, and you got to give yourself time for its realization. Remember, that it is pointless to give yourself hard time because something does not go as you though it would. But at the end, it will all find its way back into your life.

Image credit: Klawe Rzeczy on Behance

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